i'm bored! today is my last day of holi! after which i'll hav 11 wks of study term! how sad! worse still... nx coming wk which is tml i hav 3 UTs~ n i hav nt finish studying... all tis while i jus stare n arranging my notes... nth goes in... shit... n i hav to spend last day of my holi to study for lab management n proteomics! i jus came here to blog my boredom n hopefully i can really start studying after tt...
i jus reborned my hair 2 days ago... haha... not bad... hair nt tt hard to maintain le n looks so much better n younger. wahaha... ytd went shoppin with ming ming... bought lots of stuffs... went to heeren, bought 2 tee from flesh imp for jus $30, one black with golden wordings n one greenish with golden wordings too. haha... xue ni... wanna ask if u wan me to help u buy not.. but call ya ur hp is off... u at msia le ar? let me noe when u r back yah?
at heeren bought a ring too~ for $5.90, its a white flower, with a diamond at de center n embraced with 'gold'... haha i like it... wanna buy de big one but its too expensive, $9.90! haha, bought a white hair band for $4.90 too! hopefully i'll wear it to sch. haha...
finally shop for fathers' day present... so hard to choose n guys formal top is so expensive... we budget... bought a goldlion one for $35 @ Tangs. haha...
finally bought my last item... a white 3/4 pants... i liked de one at hula and co. u noe de one with gold button??? haha, but its kinda expensive too... i dun spend more den $30 for pants... so i bought one at far east for $24.90... decide to buy own gold button~ hahaha... tts it... done with my shoppin le... guess i wun be able to shop after sch reopen so i jus spent most of my money buying stuffs during holi... and one more thing, hav to ma fan ming ming shop with my de whole day le... haha noe he is tired n dun like to shop... but no one accom me shop except him... hahaha... xing ku ni le... but after all we still got eat subway ar... its damn nice la... haha gonna try to make our one one of de wkends rite??? hehe...
kk... gotta find my inspiration to study... later ming ming will say me le... ciaoz~ :)(:
wish upon a star atSunday, June 18, 2006.Sunday, June 18, 2006
everything seems so fine n happy...
stupid me start the topic...
stupid me tink too much...
matter gets worse... out of control n unexpected things happened...
i really dun mean it... u noe it...
u really cant help it... i noe it...
time jus flew when we start talking... forgot abt gg hm early... meeting frenz... slping early...
i noe can't blame anyone n it is no body fault... but i noe very well why all dis is happening... becoz of me, my f***king past... it jus there inside my brain n heart... nt abt de person anymore but fear, worries n hopeless... it is hard to be understood... hard to be explained... selfish me to expect ppl to understand n accept it... naive to tink tt it really doesnt matter... but de f***king shit is jus in my life n i gotta live with it... suffer with it...
i really duno else i can do but jus say sorry tt i m de way i m now... but i nv lie to u, feelin for u is real... hope u really feel it... rem de grand ma n grand pa story? hope u'll wait for me to be de same pace as u... n i will wait for u to slow down... i hope we can work this tgt... n today i can see it is very hard on u... i duno wat i can do or say le... only able to let u do watever u tink tt makes u feel rite...
from now on... i'll help u to tink for urself more... u need to 1st... spend ur time wisely. we tired not to break de chain, but aso no need to meet me for so long... esp u r doin nite shift... some times accom u eat dinner or meet u at yishun or wlds can le. 1 to 1 and a half hrs will do. after which... meet ur frens n go hm early... or go hm 1st... u really gotta spend time at hm... no matter u like it or not... dun wish u n ur family have communciation prob... jus be gd boy k... i noe u hav cut down on smoking for quite some time le... n u said u will quit smoking be4 the end of semester... i hope u still rem it... i wun force u... but since u hav tink n tired for so far le... jus go all de way n really quite smoking ok? its for ur own gd... it is almost 4am n u jus start to walk hm... i'll try not to let u hav nx time le k? u too mus noe how to tk care of urself k... guess u rching hm soon... i go n prepare to slp le... hear frm u agn...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
bought my own bicycle! can cycle to sch everyday lor... n hopefully can hav cycling session with ming ming n xue ni... if i can cycle to yishun... haha~ killed my own files coz i forgot they were in de freezer for de past 30min! finally finish my pp report... ate steamboat at hm... with ming ming too~ hehe... he like part of de family le... dinner here every tue n thur... will become fat soon wor...
Monday, June 12, 2006
making 2nd batch of chocolates at ying's hse. i was super late. suppose to meet 11am at JE but i woke up at 12pm! rush down by cab... today we did very fast n wasnt as messy.. finally ate de sliced fish beehoon but not as nice as expected... meet fel n jack they all at orchard... shop for a while... ate subway... de-li-cious! talk abt chalet tingy... wanna go balcony but expect many ppl so we tk train hm... went abmiratly to buy fried chicken n drinks near fel blk... talk talk talk... tk 912 hm with ming ming... ZzZzZzzzZZZzzZZZzzzZZZzzzz
Sunday, June 11, 2006
jus came back from genting... it was a great trip... most of de details is on him blog... haha, i shall not say more... jus to say tt i'm happy n enjoyed de trip! haha... my family will feed u till fat fat lor! always ask u to eat more... haha! there will be more trips overseas yah? :)(:
Thursday, June 8, 2006
jus a short entrie be4 i slp... today my 1st driving practical lesson! it was fun! gotta chance to drive... hehe... in the circuit only of coz... hehe... driving in circle... haha... lucky i pass my 1st lesson... n my instructor is an idian, haha but he is funny, if can i wanna fix him as my instructor, see how my 2nd lesson goes lor... which is tml! cant wait for it to come~ hehe~ :)
after tt went to bugis to eat steamboat with xue ni! now den i noe u got read my blog... rem to tag when u saw tis post. haha... the steamboat not bad la hor... hehe, got shanghai nian gao... my favorite golden mushroom, fish balls n lamb meat~ wahaha... so where will we go for our nx meeting ar? clubbing? haha... let me noe agn ba... thx for chillin' out with me~ :) went to bugis paco walk walk for a while... nth to see or buy... so we went to bugis street... finally bought a necklace each... haha. after tt meet sauming at toa pa yoh... he jus send me hm...
guess tts all for today... haha... now... he is reading out all the sms i sent to him since we started sms-ing... so i gtg lor~ update again! :)(:
wish upon a star atWednesday, June 14, 2006.Wednesday, June 14, 2006
mon: went to JB with my family... went to city square.. there aso got sale! bought quite a lot of stuffs... 2 pants~ 1 top and 1 converse shoes~ great bargain there. hehe... bought lots of dvds too... hehe...
tue: tidy up my room... went to watch 'the bench warmers'... quite a nice show... heart warming and funny... haha... meet sauming after his sch... went to eat at his hse. wanted to watch 'the wild' but no com or tv to watch... in the end watched the 9pm show... hehe... den sth happen... only u noe. the whole journey back hm was quiet n tired... tried to talk tings out but couldnt be solved. u need to time to cool down so i kept quiet... but din realise u were tinking too many tings until u told me while walkin back... it scares me when i saw ur lost n hopeless face... tired my best to cheer u up... wat happened jus now doesnt matter le... all de tings tt matters is to cool u down n make u feel ease... actually i duno wat to say or do, i jus sounded like everything is ok... everything is fine... nth to worry abt... try to smile n be normal... i can choose to dig tings out frm u by asking why r u feeling this way? wat r u tinking? etc... but i did not coz tt will make u feel more stress up... i choose to let u be urself jus hope tt u alone will not tink too much. and i aso noe tt u will be fine when u meeting frenz later... though im quite sad coz i cant be de one to make u feel better, but its ok... so long u do feel comfortable... im fine with it...
u noe... every time i had tis feelings or tots... is that both of us hav different approach or seeing things in relationship... u... can give everything tt u have... willingly to do things for me... needs me n cant dun hav me... as for me... u shuld noe in the very beginning tt i might not be able to give or love as much as u or as much as i used to... i dun expect much too coz i'm too scare of disappointment, not only the disapointment tt u will give me but me to u too... it is not tt i dun trust u but things can really changed. i experienced it once n i really hav it as my foible i hope u really understand it. it might be a very wrong time to begin a new relationship n i told u it will be hard to go thru... like it is now... i hope u r still able to bear with it n hope it is not a very big pro in tis relationship as it affect u... sometimes i tink that i shuld not hav started it as i noe i cant give as much... n its like not fair for u... some times i scare tt tings r really hard on u... but i noe i will not give up once i started it... for this... i need u to be strong.... to understand me n put thru tgt til i can really gave me heart to u too. r able to do it? r u really ready to tk it? will u be happy? if u understand i hope u wun force me... thou u may not do it directly but mb unintentionally... once i felt forced i will tink abt the above qns which i've tired my best not to...
as for my past... it has always been hunting me.. if not i wun be having all these foible... there is still things tt reminds me abt the past... be it a song, the tings that hav done, places etc... if u choose to be with who i am now i hope u understand n be strong to put it thru with me... with all the memories with u is slowly covering up all de past... i still need time ok... i still need time to forget everyting totally... now i really need ur understand... evertime u said abt how u dislike him... wish u can see him in de gym n say or do those nasty tings... (noe u jus saying doesnt really mean to do it) but... wat abt me? i had more hatre den u... but wat can i do... nth... so everytime u mention abt him in front of me think abt how i feel. i noe it shuldnt be a pro coz by rite i shuld be fine when i heard those things.
as for now... i need a break some times... some times i jus dun wanna feel forced or pressured. tts y i felt pek cek sometimes. plz dun blame me if i did not do as much the tings tt ive done initially or did not keep up to the tings tt u hav done for me... i might not rely on u as much as u relied on me... u too mus learnt to be strong when alone ok? dun jus depend on my to giv u de hope, u can give urself more confident too...
sorry... 3 mths le i'm still like tt... i still cant promise wat future may be... guess no one can actually n i still did not hav tt confidence yet. all i can say i'm with u now n work hard for the better. and i wanna let u noe i really worked hard on it. i've been to ur hse couple of times n my family quite like u le... we even gg to genting tgt le! dar... jus giv me some time... my own space... n spare me understanding... dun make me feel forced or pressured i will be as fine as gd le... i hope tis is not a very difficult request... guess tts all i ask of u...
if there is anything i can do or need to understand from ur part let me noe too... den we solve tgt k... :)(:
wish upon a star atWednesday, June 07, 2006.Wednesday, June 07, 2006