its hard to get common understanding... people jus like to say the things they like... everyone jus wan a listener... den whoes gonna be the listener's listener?
things changes over time... life does... as well as people ard... wat hav i changed to? i still not sure... people comes in n out of my life... some stay for a very long period of time... some jus for a while... some jus out of my reach... nth stays the same... duno what to cherish... coz in the end... it will be gone for gd... i'm jus a passerby to any one too... i dun wish to stay for long... dun giv a damn... coz we dun always get back as much as we put it... so why bother?
always wondering at the same original point... not gg anywhere... dun dare to make a different step, dun dare to put in as much... scare i cant handle... afraid to fail... i expected alot from myself... coz wat i've got in the end is only myself... becoming more isolated, selfish, heck care, fake, confuse, frastrated and numb? not sure... coz everytime is different feelings and stories...
meaning of life? goals in my life? aim? acheivements? left untouch... jus hope for safe n smooth sailing...
everyday went thru the same old thing in sch... sucks seriously... hope to end it soon... cant wait to go oversea to study... if i ever hav de chance...
jus hoping for sth new n interesting... ya... i'm jus waiting... waiting for the moment to act... time being? jus floating ard...
wish upon a star atFriday, July 21, 2006.Friday, July 21, 2006
haha... jus now went cycling with ming ming... we went to the coffeeshop near de statn there... jus renovated... very xing fu you ren zai... hehe... i ordered sliced fish pooridge... the soup not bad but the fish too cooked. rem we comin back to hav the nasi lomak tgt yah? still rem on Vday be4 we went tgt u accom me to eat there... n while walkin hm... u asked some stupid qns... haha. rem rem rem? wahaha... when eating we kept makng fun of each other... haha luff till my rice came out of my mouth... not nose like u~ haha...
dar... i'm so xing fu to hav u to accom me ALMOST everyday... u made my day worth while... u r de only person i can share my ups n downs with... who r willingly to hear my talking... n i only felt comfortable talkin to u... i felt like locking everything to myself... except to u... n only u can make me feel so myself when i'm with u... i noe my tis mentality is not good... i cant depend on u alone... neither do any of frenz is as reliable... i mus be strong n confident in myself... for i trying very hard to do so... until I met some one, fren I mean, that is as reliable as ur gay fren... hehe... only den I will not fan u as much... but of coz I'll let u hav time to spend with ya frenz n family too... hope u felt tt u r xing fu too... hehe...
Rem the tings tt u promise me k... making sure u r able to do it den u make de promise... n some promise is for ur own gd really... rem tt u suppose to quit smoking be4 ur tep ends... rem tt u r not allow to ride motocycle anymore... and rem not to leave me be4 I do... if u wan to leave me... make sure I leave u 1st be4 u do... haha may sound negative but u promise be4 le k? hehe... gotta go study le... if not ming ming will scold me again... haha... tata~
wish upon a star atMonday, July 10, 2006.Monday, July 10, 2006
haven go for my driving lesson since my sch term start... been cancelling all my booking becoz of my FYP. hope nx wk no meeting fall on my driving lesson day~
the dates of UTs had occupied my whole calendar til i have my nx holi at mid Aug... tt means i gotta study every wkends... speakin of study... i duno wat i'm 'studying' actually... lost focus easy... din get my expected grades... like i've been 'studying' for nth... in fact those who said they din study get better den me~ m i stupid or wat... or i jus cant do it... haiz... sad case... endure!!!! 2 more UTs to go~ ren ren ren~~~
1st time watch whole football match at joanne's dad hse... watched with ming ming, anne and her family, nis, kim, mao and jack. yaofeng? havin some prob wif his gal thus nt joining us... he ar... any sad case... haiz... football nt tt bored as i tot... can start to feel the excitment while watching them kicking~ haha... but din get the chance to watch the final... but at least manage to watch the 1st half. hehe.
while waiting for ming ming to come meet me... here's some to talk abt wat i've been thru today... manage to woke up myself... watch ch5 in the mrn... providing updates on the final world cup... manage to see some shots on the goals and saw how zidane got his last red card be4 retirng... haha...
looking at flies AGAIN today... kinda slack... it all abt reviewing wat we've learnt... done with the ppt and presentatn very fast too... BUT... after tt still got FYP meeting! Sian... presentatn exceed time limit again... n i've been presenting more den enuff... zao zhi dao dun research so much during wkends... doesnt put into use~ so hardworking for wat sia... nth shows up... nvm... save it for my logbook... speaking of tt... i've not compile mine~ haiz... leave it after my colloquium... sometimes i feel i too 'hardworking' for nth... i did spend time studying n researching... BUT... it wasnt putting into good use... haiz... wats wrong with me??? can any1 tell me? wat can i do abt it? i really duno... sometimes jus feel like givin up.. as in tryin not to 'study' so much... jus see things work out w/o tryin to be hardworking... mb it will be better? haha... but i dun dare to try... scare it end up worst!!!! haiz... endure~ endure~ wonder how i pull thru uni if i ever get into one... haiz... leave it to future den tink ba...
after FYP meeting, i felt kinda lost... a feelin like i'm not doing a good job... i always expect many tings from myself... until i really duno if wat i'm doin is rite or wrong... gd or bad... worth it or not... wanted to play pool jus few min be4 lib close... but fated... we r jus FEW steps slower den others... haha! after tt ying meet michelle to go hm... felt kinda extra... knowing michelle will feel awkward when i'm ard... anw i'm a boring person in sch... dun like to socialise... esp. when all my frenz r so into games... which i'm kinda opposite... so here i am... alone.... fa dai-ing n living in my own world when i'm in sch... tts how i spend my time in sch can i even imagine myself? no... sometimes bored n not myself like hell but nth i can do... but felt being alone... so i walked alone to wlds cc... saw places to park my bike le... den slowly too a long n slow walk back hm... thinkin abt lots of stuffs... comparing how i've spend my life now n den... felt kinda sad... duno y...
gg to meet ming ming lor... haha~ tata~
wish upon a star at.Monday, July 10, 2006
wish upon a star atWednesday, July 05, 2006.Wednesday, July 05, 2006