had quite an enjoyable weekends i suppose... i'm not that stress anymore...
sat stay at hm and help up until 7pm plus... went to bugis and meet my poly frens... most of them r army guys n only the 3 of us from monash r the only gals... as usual we took a long time to decide where to chill out... from bugis walked to dhoby ghaut... aim was to go minds cafe in the end settle down at TCC.. by the time was already 11pm plus... too late to catch the last train.. we ordered coffee n started to distribute gifts and do some catching up... seems like army guys themselves got lots of things to talk abt... anw... we went off in quite a quick rush coz ying's dad come n pick her up.. den the rest of us.. i mean gals started to left as well ard 12am plus... haha, finally jojo agreed to send me hm as well... if not i hav to take NR... its me vs 4 guys in the car... squeezy~ but anw, i'm glad to do some catching up with them once in a while...
sun.. went party world wif fel... finally get to sing properly... consider as my 1st proper ktv session since im back... suppose to meet xy after tt but i need to go hospital coz my mum leaving... they accom me to the hospital for awhile be4 dey go walk walk themselves... my dad besides gg to toilet, he spent most of the time slping... finally my mum came n i went to look for fel n her bf... sm came after meeting with his frens... we went to chinatown... wow... thats lota ppl!!! gotta squeeze thru the way... i got 2 batik tube top... blue and black... n got a watch too for only $7~ heng i din get it from far east, its cheaper in chinatown~ went to get chay kuay teow and lala! yummy dinner~~~
mon.. i cant recall much... mainly spent my time in the hospital...
tue.. went to hospital since i woke up at 6am... wanted to catch the doc.. but 1 of them came at 7.30am... i wasnt in time to see him... anw, i get to see rest of the 2 doc.. they really come n go very fast.. less den 2min i guess... nth promising... still need to see how lor... see blood test.. see if medi is working effectively... dad jus did another ultrasound scan again.. doc say is to make sure it is not coz by other factors or viruses.. coz he say by right the medi shuld hav a fast effect but it doesnt seems so for my dad's case... but he looked more energetic den be4 thou.. hope it is a gd sign... went back hm at 11am plus... bought fruits myself to bai bai at hm coz its 15th of the mth. after tt met zm at cwp... n do some catching up at civil starbucks... after tt go hm again at 4pm plus to cook dinner n prepare stuffs for my parents... clothes, towels etc... n den go back to hospital again... very tired man... took taxi hm with my bro... go hm still fold clothes n iron some of them... cannot tahan liao... but still wanna blog be4 i go to slp... :)
everyday i pray for the same thing... tt is for my family health... esp. my dad... wish he will become more healthy n speedy recovery...
really hope tings will become better... at least settle down things.. at least my dad can go hm.. meanwhile i still worrying abt job n money...
n mb den i will hav the mood to shop n hav fun...
wish upon a star atWednesday, January 23, 2008.Wednesday, January 23, 2008
i think i need a break... my life has been so hectic since i came back... no moments of relax at all... even thou i go out with frens for a few times for bday celebration... but still no mood...
i have reason for it... im not complaining abt how boring n dreadful me life is... its really been tough for me since i knew the news... until now i still not quite sure how to handle...
last week.. every weekdays... woke up at 6am... give my brothers morning call... prepare breakfast... prepare them for their school before i went back to sleep again... den woke up at 9.30am... preparing myself to go to work... ate alone at the kpt near my hse... took train to outram... worked at SGH as traffic surveyor... its not a glamorous job... have to wear tt constructor yellow reflective light vest... handed with sheets of paper n clicker... stand n sit under the hot sun n sometimes rain... sometimes got shelter... what we did is counting the no. of different vehicles or taking down car plate no. everyday nv fail to have passerby talking to us n ask where we r doing... cars passing by looking at us... esp buses... everyone will be looking at us... wth... anw... the only fun part is talking to frens while working... frens who i dun normally talk... think what say what... quite enjoyable thou...
at the end of the work... i'm sweaty and sticky... felt so uncomfortable... tts not the end of the day yet... i need to go buy dinner... twice i hav to go maxwell market... once at the chinatown temp. market... yea.. n i was alone... tts once... i walked from outram to chinatown... shopped myself... n walked back to outram to buy dinner to da bao to hospital...
sometimes my mum was there... sometimes she went home 1st... been seeing my dad everyday... talked to him as well... noe it has been very hard for him... he said he is in pain since july... i wish to help in any ways... tts y i've been busy doing house chores n run errand... he better i guess... not tt lethargic... still can joke ard... but cant speak much... get out of breathe easily... n the needles... it has been very painful... he changed hand twice already. n i always din get the chance to speak to the doctors... they always come early in the mrn like 7.30am... wish to catch them one of these days...
i noe i shuldnt be complaining abt my life now... its my responsibility to help ard... i wish to n i wanted to... jus tt it hasn't been the life i tot i would have or i din even tot of... i never did so much be4... i've been like a part time mother... nagging my bro to get up... iron clothes... endless clothes seriously... cant finish one... washing dishes... cooking... yea... cooking... clean here n there... its really taking up alot of time to do all these even thou it might sound alittle... recently, i jus realised tt i need to help my brothers too... normally mom will be ard to look after their sch work n life... guess now is my turn... im learning to think like mom now...
n my bro n i jus went to the wet market this mrn... yes.. wet market... bought fishes n meat... n aso sheng song to buy other necessaries stuffs like tissue box, washing powder etc...
i dun hav time of my own... i din have any chance to jus sit down n watch tv as n when i wan... not even time or mood to do the times i want... there are so many places i wan to go n do... simply facial, manicure or shopping... by the time i reach home its late n tired... been looking for jobs... but i need time to consider n edit my resume... even meeting up with frens... its harder for me to find the chance... n after all, i hav no mood... i looked so serious n dead... i dun wanted to... but for all the things tt is happening... its hard for me not too... i might be giving myself too much stress... give me time... till i get the hang of it ok? i cant be bother to explain myself anymore... whenever ppl ask me what i have been doing? slacking ard izzit? gg out with bf ar? etc etc... i hate it man... guess its hard for ppl to understand... i gg to said it once n serious... tt i really busy coz family matters... if they still dun understand... forget it... not worth explaining myself anyway...
i always not in gd mood... felt very fan... n my temper not gd too... i dun mean to... sometimes i ok still can play ard n joke... but for the smallest ting on earth agitated me... i pissed off real fast n sian tiao all the way... its normal to expect the most understanding person to be the closest people ard me... i'm lacking the feeling of understanding... i wish to have listening ears... even if it is jus a slightest complain... at least give me a feedback to make me feel better or at least make me feel comfort... guess its hard to achieve... partly im a stubborn person too...
nvm... i'll be the person... every chance can make me stronger... at the same time weaker... coz now i'm real hostile n bad tempered person now...
nonetheless... thanks ming for accom n helped me... hang in there with me k?
i wish things will be fine... i wish my dad can get well soon... tts the most impt thing tt i would expect now... but meanwhile... other den my mom... i'm the nx person for the rest of my family member to rely on... i'm learning to take the responsibility too...
wish upon a star atSaturday, January 19, 2008.Saturday, January 19, 2008
what a tiring day...
slept at 2am plus... was doing my resume... getting myself ready for Links2008 at grand hyatt hotel... woke up at 5.45am as usual during weekdays to wake my brothers up n prepare breakfast for them... after they left for school den i prepare myself to go out...
reach orchard at 9.15am... met ying n yenshan... ate at breadtalk... who knows they provided breakfast before the talk... -_-... basically there are 3 main organizations that i can work in... Singhealth, National Healthcare Group and A*star... the expected salary is very attracted... as well as the working environment.. not forgetting health benefits too! after much consideration, i tink i would want to work in hospital ba... hehe... will start looking for job opening n submit my resume soon...
met the rest at vivo city for jack's celebration... by the time i'm half dead liao... i'm so freaking tired n my eyes were so dry!! the heels is killing me! n we walked round n round vivo city!! duh~
i'm so sorry to my frens... i cant enjoy and talk with interest... i'm like lost interest in whatever things that should be interesting to me... my life... simply shopping or hanging out... i dun feel the same anymore... i dun have the mood to do anything!!! i just feel that my life is not the same anymore... i noe no one can understand... coz sth huge happened that really change my life and thinking as well as prospective in life... i wanna make a difference and not sitting ard thinking nosense... duno why i have this negative tots... i should be positive abt it... haiz... meantime i just want to get myself tgt n start thinking positive and do sth useful for my family...
wish upon a star atSaturday, January 12, 2008.Saturday, January 12, 2008
its 2008 now!
2007 had been a tough year for me... n unforgetable i guess... hell lots of things has happened.
now i'm back n different... i ain't gonna be playful anymore... ain't gonna play or do things as n when i want... i gotta think... think more serious abt my future n the person i wanna be...
too much things to say n think... aim is to start working after chinese new year... 1st hope i can get a gd pay job... 2nd i wan to work hard for it... im the eldest in the family... its time to do some responsibilities... i'll be hard on myself... n strong mentally...
throughout 2007 sth big happened n i'm only been told lately... no matter what i'll be stronger n can be some1 tt can rely on n take responsibilities... i have a strong mind is i do... only i know myself best... what i want to do nth can change my mind... n so hard to be understood by others but its ok... i need myself to be strong...
life is precious... n love is what life cant take away... n yes... we work hard not for ourselves but for the person we love... i really want to do my part now... give me chance n time...
n i really pray that everything will be alright... i gotta be positive too... i need to be... n i will be if i told myself to... i will be...
sometimes i really care what others think of me... n the person i m now r not well understood by others... but its ok... so long i have confidence in myself... tts what i really need now...
its not only me anymore... therefore i need to be strong in front of others...
jia you ba.
:)(:
wish upon a star atSunday, January 06, 2008.Sunday, January 06, 2008