dear diary... guess u r the only one i can turn to now... feelin damn sian... to the max... like nth can really happens le... if there is, i aso no feelin de... numb...
i tink im stupid... like everyone is changing but im still expecting things to be like it used to be... mb becoz i hav not move on yet... for i did... but not as much as others ba... its sad to noe tt tings will not stay the same... n there is nth i can do really... so stop tinking abt it k... there will be sth better for u... tts why i hav to remind myself everyday... some times it gets too tiring... n i cant stop not tinkin n feeling sad again... it changed me... to a person tt im not used to be ba.. n i miss the old self... but its like not coming back again... it changed when everything else de... i can only feel it but cant be like it... so be it... like the new self ba... get sth new to hold on to ba... mb still not yet... but still hopping for one... true one... how i wish to hav a guardian angel... haha... tts when i look out for stars...
i got alot to write actually... but i deleted all away... i dun wan to be seen like a person who keeps complain... but infact i hav alot of complain in my mind.. alot of disatisfication... but nah... :x
meanwhile... i gotta be strong.. i gotta remind myself to tink positive... tt tt is hope.. tt is still someone else who really cares... mb nt the same person.. but still there is.. dun get sad be someone whom dun care for u anymore... live my own life... mb not as gd but still better den not... be content of the life now... keep trying... even if it looks disappointing... sure there is sth to look out for... find my own aims like... i still duno... but i will find one soon... at least for this very moment when im typing this blog im not sad... tml will be better... :)
mb i sound as if im pretending... mb i m... coz i dun wan to feel the way i shuld not... if no one hears it n it shall not be heard... anw i mb jus my sorrows tt will make ppl feel sian too... so nah... keep it wif me... not to tink abt it n mb it will be gone.. even it may not.. it will not coz more harm... it has always be like tt.. so be it... it isnt a great deal after all... after a slp it will all be gone n no one will even rem it... well except for me... it will all be a cycle until my guardian angel come n tk it away...
haha.. dream on... ya... im dreaming...
wish upon a star atMonday, September 18, 2006.Monday, September 18, 2006